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Through Time & Space, I Will (Have No​)​(​Hold Yr) Place

by yrs

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1.
The cul de sac sleeps on it's back for you. It's squinting and wincing trying for a better view, Of the space camp drop out, so obsessed with it's flaws, He could never figure out it's about the cause. Hometown, safe and sound. Ball bearings spin. Are you coming down? Am I coming in? Let me tell you about glue, it's permanent and unlike you, It dries clear. So you can see through, The street lights and star lights and satellite's blink. I guess it never set in, only made me think, Of hometown, safe and sound. Ball bearings spin. Are you coming down? Am I coming in? It was never about you. But as for me, I'm asleep on my side. I've still got so much left to hide.
2.
Freeze dried food and tubes of glue, I'm blaming you. But I'll float on if our beds been ruined, so save your proof. So now I'm just a vapor trail fading off a turbine tail, And it's all you ever wanted me to be. Because "I can't keep the heat you seek". And you can't hide from my vibes, Even if you tried. If we've lost the spark I'll just stay in the dark, And if we've missed our mark, then the marks been missed and I'll carve on, Through the abyss. I still find your purple hairs, sometimes brown, and sometimes mine, and sometimes red. Does he pull them from his bed? And when he rolls over do you see, An empty bed sheet, or is it me? Doesn't matter now. There's no more room to turn around, If I can't learn how to not, Let you down. If we've lost the spark I'll just stay in the dark, And if we've missed our mark, then the marks been missed and I'll carve on, Through the abyss.
3.
Stargazer, I guess your eyes were lasers that cut me in two. One half wanting you, the other half hating the moon. But don't try to pretend that I sucked the air out of you, Faking decompressed with your face painted blue. Don't mock the vacuum that turned me inside out for you. This is my last hope. My only way to cope is sitting outside staring through a telescope. Watching space junk fall and ignoring your calls. I puke and I bawl. I hope you feel tall, Because I just feel small. Two girls later and I'm still the traitor. Your memory shifts and slips until you see what you want to see. But I can still feel your minty breath on my cheeks where the tears left them wet. That I'll never forget. I'll never resent the ghost of what used to be. This is some sick joke. I've been lying perfectly still while you prod and poke. Underneath your microscope I lost all hope.
4.
All the nights when you were gone I was sitting on your front lawn, Waiting for your bedroom light to turn back on. You wear Venetian blinds like a shroud and a dim lit halo in a pot smoke cloud. You used to rapture and cough. You lost purgatory's purse with calvary's eye drops. And when I used to watch you sleep, I'd think about your menstrual cycle and why you grind your teeth, and I'd wonder if In all your grip tape schemes and your half pipe dreams, Was there a ramp to me? Were you launched up over the street? Did your bed clothes flow and turn to UFO's? Or did you just stare back down at the street. Kick flip, bong rip, swap spit, I'm over it. Kick flip, bong rip, swap spit, I'm over it. But the mistakes been made. You materialized in the fade. And not another night will I sing to your turned shoulder blades, and wonder if In all your grip tape schemes and your half pipe dreams, Was there a ramp to me? Were you launched up over the street? Did your bed clothes flow and turn to UFO's? Or did you just stare back down at the street.
5.
There's a black hole inside of you where your heart used to do, Nothing but beat my blood. And nothing but clot my cuts and wounds. There's a dot in front of the moon. It's either a meteor, a satellite, or you. But how am I supposed to tell if you're on it? Or if you're just a hologram. How am I supposed to clear my conscience? When you can't seem to understand that always through the hatch the black hole stares back. And it sucks out every thought in my head. Except for the night you turned to me and said, "Don't let me down. Don't let me down."
6.
You've been so different since the accident. But lately, at its best, kissing him has been like kicking a hornet's nest. And I think somehow his waspy breath found its way into my chest. And in my lungs it found that it could sting me down and I'd still hang around. I'm so tired of White Anglo-Saxon Protestants who are so discontent, With every part of me they haven't bent and these tattoos that are permanent, And every sin that I won't repent. You were different You were different.
7.
For some there's a dream that never comes true, But I thought mine happened when I happened on you. So I sawed captains logs and let spectrals move, Until the moons in my guts rotted through. But some dreams turn to nightmares and some nightmares transcend sleep. Until you're startled half awake and realize everything's exactly how it seems to be. But I wish they all could have been of suburban girls, from other worlds. Other solar systems, ponytails unfurled. My Mother said to stay away and not awake, to get some sleep and meet the girl of your dreams. But what if Mom she's always been right down the street? There's still a blood stain in the neighbors drained swimming pool. Speed wobbles, you got brained and lost your cool. So I did my best to pull the gravel from your knees. I rinsed you out, but you never came clean. But some dreams turn to nightmares and some nightmares transcend sleep. Until you're startled half awake and realize everything's exactly how it seems. But I wish they all could have been of suburban girls, from other worlds. Other solar systems, ponytails unfurled. My Mother said to stay away and not awake, to get some sleep and meet the girl of your dreams. But what if Mom she's always been right down the street?
8.
Every scent a smell of you, stale perfume in a tomb. I knew I'd leave my best with you. Every chill I mistake for you. How can I memorize things that aren't you? Like how every UFO in my dreams turns to minivans on your street. You ride by on a banana seat. Your bike tires spin and squeak. Your face is so unfazed as you coast through the ghost of what used to be. Seven months with a swelling head, sleeping in a floating bed. Trying to forget. "It's all in your head Cadette. I have some shame to admit that I have had somethings to hide. But still I never thought to point my long board at the sky, And ride away from all our dreams. To where you couldn't hear my screams. It's dead and gone, but still it seems you coast through the ghost of what used to be." Seven months with a swelling head, sleeping in a floating bed, Trying to forget, I'm trying to resent the ghost of what used to be.
9.
What you miss isn't me. It's the feeling of somebody in the passenger seat. And what you can't wrap your mind around is that there's nobody waiting on the ground to hold you down. I won't stick around to see you become the martyr you've always wanted to be. And I hope you're near a TV when they broadcast me "Living Happily Ever After C." Whatever, fuck everything.
10.
Holds 03:09
Sawdust. I'll do my best to cover up what I can't keep down. And I can't hold back with good vibes. These things don't sit so well inside. So this is me throwing up into my hands. And this is me breaking up my band. And this is me starting to understand your holds. Clean shirt. Why make the effort for a graveyard shift? And all the same old shit. We've all got exactly the same stains and we all look the same but, Still this is the end that I tuck in. And this is the friend that I should have been. Your holds are the holds that I'll never feel again. Your holds, your holds. Muscle memory. My keys already ahead me to take me back to where we used to live. And even if my head forgets my hands will resist. So this is me turning off my phone. And this will probably be my last drive home. And this is me realizing why I'm alone. I don't know.
11.
I'm a tide without your moon, a rotting stagnant cess lagoon, waiting on you. To pull me in and onto you. Let me fill your craters grooves. I'm coming loose. All of my nails are gone, but you keep chewing on. Persist the haunt. I've tried radioing other moons, but no one's full and no one's blue quite like you. All of these 0 'G girls with their tang blonde astro curls could give me all of their oxygen. But all of their recycled air wouldn't dare, To fill the void left by you. They're children in dad's shoes. I smell the glue rot away. Day by day I feel the strain. "Let me pull away from you. When gravity calls there's nothing you can do to escape its vacuum. And even if it felt just a bit too soon: "You'd sleep clearer without me in your atmosphere" Just leave me alone. But still I fear that: I'm a moon without your tide, a bare satellite with nowhere to hide, and nothing to guide."
12.
I'm trying my best not to creep myself out over this. I was just following orders and doing as I was told. I'm sorry that now my coordinates are unfortunately known. But you have to believe just how you are perceived, He is safe and you are just a dream. I know the shot is long but maybe you could be calmed by the ghost of what used to be. I get so stoned and all I can think about is how you left me alone. So I keep you with the acid in my spine. I stretch my neck, you're here and I am fine. In the dark everyone feels the same. In my head there's always two different names. But you're the black spot on my brain. The black hole where all of my dreams are drained. I'm trying to resist the urge to untwist the knots my fingers are in. But this is me turning on my phone and sitting in the dark waiting for it to glow. Waiting to receive something that reads "YOU ARE SAFE AND THIS IS JUST A DREAM." Even if it's on, I don't think I can be calmed by the ghost of what used to be. But I'm a float without your moon. A swaying, rotting, flesh canoe. Waiting on you. To row me in and up to your room. All the moth wants is the moon and like a moth I cant still get off In a dim lit room. I tried to keep it down but every sound was wedding gowns unzipping and ripping. In a half hot swoon, I think I saw you with mothy eyes too soon.
13.
All of the lines I wish that I'd left between my jacket and my chest. My thoughts are never clear and you hear what you want to hear, But I'm not coming down. It's not safe in your hometown, For a silhouette of half of a Cadette who was so obsessed with his flaws That he forgot the cause. Your breath is hot, you've been filled with steam, but I've been kissing a machine. Where do your loyalties lie with me? Mine are somewhere in between you and him, C. I don't think its fantasy to think that we could be again. But I can't be if it's you and him. I wish I had a time machine to go back and destroy the time machine. A wrench in my plans, to feel your socket in my hands. Dark matter grain hourglass, you're the last lone skater in the cul de sac. But where have you been? It feels like some other planet. And I think that now I understand that it's not the wormhole that I fear. It's the one voice I don't hear. All my thoughts feel like dreams. And all of my memories have cheated me. I'll lose touch with reality if it means you'll be here with me.
14.
Pull 00:57
I'm so tired of huffing glue. When all I ever wanted was to suck in you And to hold you in my lungs until I saw the battle won and the mission done.

credits

released May 6, 2016

Yrs is Brady Lanzendorfer, Doug Harshberger, Chad Crumrine, David Varlotto, and Ricky Petticord.

All songs written by Brady Lanzendorfer.

Tracked by Brady Lanzendorfer
Drum Production by Brady Lanzendorfer and David Varlotto
Mixing, Mastering and Audio Samples by Rob Tipton
Album Artwork and Layout by Jordan Hudkins
Head2Wall Records #43

Thank you to all of our friends, family, Rob Tipton, Jordan Hudkins, and Josh from Head2Wall for the amazing amount of time and dedication you've given to us. You can all have my Legos when I die.

Tape pre-orders and bundles available through Head2Wall Records!

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yrs Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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